Crisis Management

The past two months have been very difficult on Lisa and I and of course my Mother, (so she tells me). We are doing the best we can but will it be good enough? I sure hope so because I love Lisa, Annalise, Genevieve, my entire immediate and extended family and my friends. Every aspect of our little beautiful life has been impacted and each month it becomes more intense. Our financial situation is very dire due to the loss of my income Since November 2010. I have applied for CPP Disability but my Doctor is not optimistic I will qualify without a diagnosis. Nonetheless, we had to try as we need more money to sustain our current financial commitments and humble lifestyle. Without a disability benefit each month we will be forced to sell my car and the house to avoid bankruptcy. I know there have been many people forced to do the same in recent years due to layoffs across our globe. Maybe your thinking, so what I did it, so can you. Well then you understand how difficult it is. Now, imagine dealing with a debilitating chronic undiagnosed illness in addition. I don't want your sympathy but I wish to create an environment of understanding. Disintegrating in front of your spouse, children, family, friends, coworkers, and even neighbors is a very humiliating and humbling process. Not to mention extremely stressful. The level of stress we are currently experiencing is like no other. There have been a couple of moments in my life that have come close; like being laid-off four times in ten years and then almost losing my Mother in-law twice, due to complications from diabetes, all in the same period. All very stressful moments for the family but this one, tops them all! This is a lot more stress than we can handle, I know we have reached our limit, we need answers, we need some hope. My condition continues to progress with the pain peaking beyond the capabilities of the medication prescribed to manage it. My muscles and nerves continue to cramp and spasm at will causing basic movements like typing or lifting an object like a cup at times very difficult.I am so confused, so frustrated with my health situation it causes me more stress. The thought of losing Lisa, the girls and my home brings tears to my eyes as I type this but the possibility is looking more real each day. I hope it all works out I really do and in my heart I feel it will. I don't know how but I feel it will and this thought gives me the hope I need to continue each day.